“… now you are sad, but I will see you again, and your hearts will be filled with gladness, the kind of gladness that no one can take away from you.” – Jn 16:22
When my husband and I got married in 2004, my greatest fear was not being able to bear children. For years, I’ve been undergoing medication for hypo-thryroidism. Some people say that with this condition, there could be two possible scenarios – either it would be difficult for me to get pregnant or that I will be too fertile.
One year into our marriage and still not pregnant, I began to worry. Then in October 2005, a month after we celebrated our first anniversary, I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant. My husband and I can't find the right words to express our joy and gratefulness to God for such a wonderful blessing.
But a week after, I suffered a miscarriage. My two-month baby died inside my womb. During those moments, I cannot fully comprehend why God allowed us to experience great joy only to take it away. The sorrow and pain I felt was just too much to bear.
But with God’s grace, I began my journey to physical, emotional and spiritual recovery. I thank God that even for a short while, He gave a chance to be a mother. He allowed me to experience carrying life inside of me.
Right now, my husband and I await that perfect time when God will grant our hearts’ desire to once again have our own little bundle of joy. For He promised; “… now you are sad, but I will see you again, and your hearts will be filled with gladness…” Truly Lord, I believe and I claim it in my life.
“Seek your happiness in the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart” Ps. 37