When Life Taught Me What Really Matters
I was blessed with a materially and financially comfortable life.
My family used to run a successful business, and growing up, I was privileged to experience all the perks that came with it. I studied in an exclusive private school, lived comfortably in our own home in a quiet subdivision, never had to commute, and had all the little luxuries that, at the time, I didn't really think twice about.
New toys, shoes and clothes. Good food. Travel. Shopping. Househelp who did almost everything for us.
What a life indeed!
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| My wonderful parents... |
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| My parents with my paternal grandfather, grandmother and uncle... |
Looking back, I realize how much of that lifestyle I simply took for granted. I knew I was blessed, but I don't think I fully understood what being blessed really meant.
Then, in the late 1990s, our family business encountered major financial problems and eventually had to close down.
Gradually, we began to lose the things we had grown accustomed to.
Our life changed.
And, honestly, it was difficult for me.
Learning to Live With Less
It was quite a struggle to adjust to a simpler lifestyle.
I found it especially difficult not being able to get what I wanted at the exact moment I wanted it. I was used to a certain way of living, and suddenly, we had to start thinking about what we could afford and what we could do without.
One of the hardest things for me was when my parents decided to sell our house and move to a smaller rented home, away from the comfortable neighborhood where I had grown up.
I also started distancing myself from some of my old friends because I was afraid they might no longer accept me now that our circumstances had changed.
There were nights when I would cry because I couldn't sleep in a room without air-conditioning.
The first time I had to commute, I was already a college graduate and starting my career in advertising. I remember feeling so afraid just crossing the street on my own.
My parents kept telling us that we had to learn to live within our means.
I knew they were right.
But at that time, it felt like we were being asked to sacrifice so much.
Watching My Family Struggle
What was even more painful was seeing my family struggle along with me.
My dad, who used to go to work in corporate attire and drive his own car, was now commuting to the office in simple jeans and a polo shirt.
My mom, who had always been a stay-at-home wife and mother, started taking on different sidelines to help make ends meet. Eventually, she committed herself to working full-time with Couples for Christ, both to serve and to help support our family.
My younger brothers and sisters, who had been studying in exclusive private schools, had to transfer to other schools. Some even had to stop for a while until there was enough money for their schooling.
As the eldest of seven, I would often feel bad seeing them unable to enjoy some of the things I had enjoyed when I was their age.
It was painful to watch.
But it was also during this time that I began to see my family differently.
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| Family pictorial for CFC Flame |
What I Thought Was Important
When I was still living my “princess” life, I was perfectly happy thinking that I had everything.
The house.
The cars.
The clothes.
The shoes.
The comfortable lifestyle.
When we started losing those things, I slowly began to realize that they weren't really what made me blessed.
It was my family.
That was what I had.
And that was what mattered most.
In spite of the major change in our lifestyle, I began to rediscover my family. Our love for one another and our strong bond gave me the strength to move forward.
Knowing that we had each other made it easier to face the life we now had.
I saw my dad, who himself had grown up with financial comfort, sacrifice his own wants and needs for our family.
I saw my mom, who had never had to work before, step out of her comfort zone and commit herself to work and service.
I saw my siblings learn to live with less and even take on part-time jobs to help with their own allowances.
It was humbling for all of us.
But in many ways, I think it made us better people.
Finding God in the Change
I am especially thankful that when all of this happened, my parents were already actively serving Couples for Christ.
Their faith became a big part of how our family learned to deal with what was happening.
They taught us that losing our material things did not mean that God had abandoned us.
In fact, I think it was during that difficult season that we learned to trust Him more.
I began to appreciate the simple things that I used to overlook.
A meal together.
A comfortable enough home.
Time with family.
Having someone to talk to.
Having people who would stand by you when life became difficult.
These things didn't seem like much compared to the life I used to have.
But somehow, they became enough.
And sometimes, more than enough.
I may have lost my “pampered” life, but I gained something far more valuable.
I gained a deeper appreciation for my parents and the sacrifices they made for us.
I gained siblings who taught me that you don't need much to be happy.
I gained a stronger faith in God and in His plan, even when I didn't understand what He was doing.
Most of all, I gained a family that became even closer because of everything we went through together.
Perhaps it isn't wrong to enjoy the comforts of life. There is nothing wrong with wanting nice things or wanting a comfortable life.
But I learned that those things shouldn't be the measure of how blessed we are.
Because when everything else was stripped away, I realized that the greatest comfort I had was not our house, our cars, or the things we owned.
It was knowing that I had my family.
And knowing that God was with us.
Looking back at that younger version of myself, I sometimes smile at how difficult it was for me to adjust. I was so focused on what I had lost that I didn't immediately see what I still had.
It took losing some of the comforts of life for me to appreciate the blessings that were already there.
So yes, I lost a lot.
But in the end, I gained even more.
A wonderful family.
A deeper faith.
A greater appreciation for life's simple blessings.
And a better understanding of what it really means to be rich.
Maybe the things we have are blessings.
But the people we have to share them with are the real gift.
And that is something I will always be grateful to God for.
