15 June 2012

FEMININE LATTE: On Real Beauty...

My concept of beauty was first influenced by my grandmother.   She was a beautiful woman...  she struggled to reach her dreams.  But in a way, her rags-to-riches success in life made her look so highly of herself.  I spent most of my formative years under her care.  She taught me that being beautiful is important so that others will not look down on you.  I couldn't blame her ... she worked hard to succeed in life and once she did, she wanted everything to be perfect... a perfect life... but somehow, aimed for too much perfection.

my grandmother Rosario
   
And so at an early age, I already aspired to be beautiful...




I grew up admiring women who are beautiful... and wanted so much to be like them.

Women I admire... Dawn Zulueta


Women I admire... Mikee Cojuangco Jaworski

Classic beauty - Audrey Hepburn

But as I grew in my relationship with my mom,  she showed me a different concept of beauty - SIMPLICITY...  to accept what's natural.  She also says that, "nothing is wrong with you... you are pretty just the way you are".  She became my constant shopping and salon companion but never did she ever tried to change me and how I looked at myself.  Her opinion was the most valuable of all most especially at times when i would feel "ugly".

My beautiful mom...

But a single heartbreaking experience changed the way i looked at myself.  The boy i was infatuated with when I was in highschool pursued a very beautiful girl.  It was big blow to my self-esteem.  But rather than feel sorry for myself, I vowed to make myself even more beautiful.  This triggered my obsession with VANITY.




I programmed myself to believe that all men were attracted ONLY to physical beauty. Even my standard in men was based on the physical. 

When I was starting to grow in my career, it became worse... vanity was eating me up.

Earning and having my own money to spend... all these were spent on satisfying my worldly desire for clothes, shoes, bags, makeup, treatments...  things which I thought I needed.  But inspite of the beauty rituals i did and all the "kikay" stuff I owned, I felt unattractive.  Becoming a vain person distorted how I saw myself... making feel unsatisfied with how I look. 

I was feeling so empty... realizing that my obsession with vanity was infact turning me into an ugly person deep inside.

Until came a time when God reminded me of who I was... 



He restored me and made me appreciate the person that I really am...
It happened when He called me to be a Missionary... to live a simple yet fulfilled life.  An instrument to reflect His goodness and love to others.  Someone who can share the beauty of life with God.

He first blessed all my relationships... that i will be filled with love which would make my life more beautiful to live.

A beautiful family...
 
and a beautiful community!


But God was not finished with me... 
He blessed my life with a man who made me appreciate myself for who i was... loved me just as i am ... made me realized the beauty within me ... and reminded me that beauty is indeed simplicity.  His love was enough to make me feel beautiful.





God continues to unveil my real beauty... and this will go on as i beautifully fulfill my special roles in life:


As a woman... A daughter of God...


As a daughter and sister...


As a missionary and careerwoman...


As a wife ...


And finally, as a mom...

These roles are God's magnificent design for my being... these are the beauty of my womanhood... these are the very essence of who I am.  And these are precisely where my true innermost beauty is radiating from.

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