My Ideal Man... Ideally?
I want to fall in love. Or better yet, I want to fall in love with my ideal man.
He is tall, fair, and handsome. He should be athletic - especially good at basketball. He can play the drums, is a little hunky, well-groomed, and knows how to wear his clothes as if he had just stepped out of a men's fashion magazine.
And of course, I dream of meeting him in Paris.
I would be in a white sundress one afternoon, sitting in a little French café. We would both be tourists in a foreign land, each of us finding our way, wondering about life and love. Then, somehow, our paths would cross.
And boom!
One look at each other, and we would fall in love.
Wow. Can this really happen?
Maybe I've been watching too many romantic movies.
If only falling in love were that simple, I would probably be happily married by now. But no. If there is one thing in life that is complicated, full of mysteries, and almost impossible to understand, it is love.
When I was 15, I was so sure I was in love with someone I considered my ideal man.
I felt good whenever he was around. He was always on my mind... like not one second of the day could pass without me thinking about him. Everything around me seemed to remind me of him. I could talk endlessly about how good-looking he was or how wonderful I thought he was.
But despite all these feelings, it was one-sided. He didn't feel the same way.
So there I was, secretly loving someone who wasn't in love with me.
I was in denial for the longest time. I believed I could wait forever for him to notice me. It was a love I kept to myself for years.
I honestly don't know when I finally decided to let go. Perhaps it was simply a matter of time. But I was glad I eventually did and was able to move on with my life.
It wasn't easy, though.
He had become my standard for the person I would eventually look for. In my mind, I hoped I would meet “someone like him.”
But when I think about it now, I didn't really know him that well.
I knew that I liked the way he looked. I admired his talents. I liked the way I felt whenever he was around.
But beyond those things, I really didn't know who he was.
And that's when it hit me.
I had been hoping for a dream.
I had created a picture of the man I wanted without really knowing what kind of person he should be.
I only had a physical idea of my “ideal man.” But what about his character? His values? The way he treats people? The kind of husband and father he would be? The kind of person he would be when life isn't easy?
I didn't have answers to any of those questions.
That made me wonder: Should I really have an “ideal” man?
Is setting a standard or putting a label on the person I hope to meet really worth it?
Someone once told me that when you meet the right person, you'll just know. And sometimes, the right person isn't necessarily the person who fits the picture you had in your head.
Maybe the person you fall in love with becomes your ideal because of who he is and what you discover together.
Maybe that's what makes love so unpredictable.
We can have our list. We can have our standards. We can imagine how the story will begin and where we will meet.
But love doesn't always follow the script.
And perhaps that's part of the beauty of it.
Even now, I don't know how I will know when I am standing face to face with the right person. I don't know exactly what it will feel like. I don't know when it will happen, or where, or under what circumstances.
Maybe it will be in Paris.
Maybe it will be somewhere completely ordinary.
I just know that, at that time in my life, I was looking forward to falling in love for the very first time.
And who knows?
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| My all-time fave... guess i've been watching too much of these.... |
