Taking the Wheel
A father's lessons... A son's journey.
My son has been driving his dad’s car lately.
There’s something about seeing him behind the wheel that makes me think of my husband. Cars were one of the things they naturally bonded over. They talked about cars, driving, routes, and all the little things that came with being on the road. Somewhere along the way, his dad also influenced the way he drives, and perhaps even his sense of direction.
Looking back now, I realize that some of the most meaningful parts of a relationship are built in the simplest moments: the little lessons shared along the way, the things we learn just by watching, and the time spent simply being together.
Maybe that’s why seeing him behind the wheel feels so special to me. I can’t help but think of his dad and all the things he taught him, not necessarily through formal lessons, but through the everyday moments they shared.
Now, as I watch him drive, I see more than just a young man learning his way around the road. I see a son carrying a little piece of his dad with him, finding his own way while holding on to lessons that will stay with him.
Perhaps that’s what makes the road such a beautiful metaphor for life. The more I think about it, the more I realize that driving teaches us a few things about living, too.
1. Know when to slow down.
When driving, you learn that speed isn't everything. Sometimes, you need to ease off the accelerator, take in what's happening around you, and give yourself time to make the right decisions.
I imagine my husband understood this in his own way, and perhaps he passed some of that wisdom on to our son through their conversations about driving. Those little exchanges were part of how he guided our son, not just on the road, but in learning to think things through for himself.
As my son continues to find his way, I hope he carries that lesson with him. He doesn't have to rush into every decision or have his entire life figured out. He can take his time, learn as he goes, and trust himself to make the right turns.
His dad may no longer be beside him to offer advice, but I hope that when life calls for him to slow down and think, he will remember some of the things his dad taught him.
2. Learn to navigate the detours.
No matter how carefully we plan a journey, there will always be unexpected stops, wrong turns, and detours. Life is no different.
Losing my husband was a turn in the road I never expected to take. It changed our family's journey in ways I'm still learning to navigate.
But perhaps moving forward doesn't mean knowing exactly where to go. Sometimes, it simply means accepting where we are, adjusting to what life brings, and finding the courage to take the next turn, even when we can't see very far ahead.
3. Trust what you've learned, and find your own way.
When someone first learns to drive, every decision takes effort. Eventually, the lessons become instinct, helping them navigate the road on their own.
Life works that way, too. The people who guide us won't always be there to tell us what to do, but what they've taught us stays.
My son has so much life ahead of him. There will be decisions to make and roads he has never traveled before. His dad won't be there to give him directions, but perhaps he has already given him something more valuable: the confidence to figure things out for himself.
That is what a father's legacy really is. Not leaving your son a map with every turn marked out, but giving him enough wisdom, courage, and confidence to find his own way.
The people we love don't necessarily leave us with all the answers. Sometimes, they leave us with the values they lived by, the lessons they taught us, and the quiet imprint of having walked beside us for part of our journey.
As I watch my son take the wheel, I find myself thinking about how life keeps moving, even when someone we love is no longer here to travel alongside us.
There are days when I wish his dad could still be sitting beside him. I wish they could share another conversation about cars or simply enjoy another ordinary moment together.
But then I remind myself that perhaps a part of him is already there, in the lessons my son remembers and in the wisdom that will stay with him long after those conversations have ended.
Sometimes, we just need to trust what we've learned, adjust when necessary, and keep moving forward.
There is still so much road ahead.
And I hope my son continues to find his way, with his own dreams, his own choices, and a little bit of his dad's wisdom guiding him along the way.
Because the people we love never really stop being part of our journey. They may no longer be in the passenger seat, but the things they taught us continue to help us navigate the road ahead. And that is how love stays: in the way we live, in the choices we make, and in the way we find our way forward.
Coffee Moment:
What has someone you love taught you that still guides you today?
